Ever since I discovered Personal and the Pizzas just over two weeks ago, I’ve decided that my life shall be divided into two halves: pre-Personal and the Pizzas and post-Personal and the Pizzas. It just makes sense.
You see, I was in one of my classic YouTube spirals where one video quickly turned into twenty, and somehow I landed on this song “I Don’t Wanna Be No Personal Pizza”. Thinking to myself “There’s no way this pizza-related release will top Get Rad‘s Drug of Choice, or Horse The Band‘s Pizza EP“, I dove in headfirst with low expectations. Luckily, it wasn’t too good to be true, and I indeed have found a new favourite pizza-related band. Here’s five reasons that you should be listening to them – right now!
1. They Love Pizza
Yes, much like The Shitty Beatles, Personal and the Pizzas is not just a clever name – these dudes really do love pizza. And who doesn’t? Recent studies conducted by real-ass scientists have proven again and again that pizza is the perfect food, and that anyone who dares to disagree is a complete dingus*. Hey, you can’t argue with science, man.
2. You Don’t Wanna Be No Personal Pizza, Do You?
You’re an individual right? You don’t want to walk the path that many before have already traversed, you want to blaze your own damn path – and a deliciously greasy one at that. You just want to live your life, one slice at a time. So load up on “Pepperoni, red sauce, mozzarella cheese and stick it in the oven at 100 degrees”. These are words to live by, my friend, and that’s how pizza is supposed to be.
3. They Write Love Songs Too!
Because we’ve all experienced that classic moment when you’re cuddling with your loving partner, and you stare ever so deeply right into their… “Pepperoni Eyes”. Right? Hey, where are you going? Come back!
4. They Don’t Give A Damn
So what if the opening riff of “I Don’t Wanna Be No Personal Pizza” sounds exactly like a song by The Dictators? It’s a great riff! These guys only live by a few rules – maybe you could call it something of a manifesto. Start smokin’, start drinkin’, start fightin’, and keep on eatin’ pizza – lotsa pizza. Maybe that’s why they’re the greatest band in the world.
5. They Can Read
Even the toughest dudes have to get a little emotional sometimes, and on “I Can Read” they sing what is maybe their most personal tune to date. He’s serious, man, he can read! Come on, jeez. When it’s time to get a J-O-B, just make sure that you’ve learned a lesson or two from Personal and the Pizza’s about readin’ – at least enough to be able to order another pie.
Speaking of pie, you can purchase their album Raw Pie – with bonus pocket comb, for your pizza-greased hair – via Bachelor Records. Or, you can follow the band on Facebook as well.
*you thought there’d be something funny down here, but this is deadly true. If you don’t like pizza it has been scientifically proven that you are, in fact, a dingus.